I did not know what to do.
Photo from V Magazine. Shot by Mario Soretti.
I couldn`t sleep. Last night, I closed my eyes as long as I could, wishing for the peace of slumber, but I would soon open them -- wide-awake & pathetic. For 30 minutes, my eyes were closed, but all my mind was nothing but alert. It wasn`t insomnia anymore; it was something deeper.
As I sat up, I thought, "I didn`t know that you could make me feel like this." After a few moments, I struggled to make my way to the bathroom sink. Like a fish out of water, I was gasping for air. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror. "What a pitiful girl", I though, & suddenly, my vision was blurred by traitorous tears. That girl was me.
I brace my arms on the edges of the sink as my stomach tries to purge itself once more. Nothing comes out because there`s nothing left. This scene already happened 30 minutes ago. Once more, I gagged &, once more, I cried. How could this be happening to me?
I let myself go. If you entered my bathroom at that very second, you would have seen a small girl, miserably slumped on the floor.
The tiles were cold against my heated face & the shower was on -- but all I felt was the fiery trail of my tears. Even the fabric of my clothes felt ridiculously strange, wet on skin. With the last bit of strength I had left in my tired limbs, I managed to pull myself into a sitting position, burying my head in my knees & crying it all out. Too many tears were shed on such a small thing, but I couldn`t stop myself anymore.
So here I sit now, in fresh clothes, sitting in front of the computer with dark circles under my eyes. Not a wink of sleep has been granted to me & I feel strangely like a zombie. My movements are slow & sluggish, as if I were dancing underwater & I am not the only one who has noticed. A constant throb is in my head now...& I still feel that constant urge to cry.
Would someone come & make me feel better?
As I sat up, I thought, "I didn`t know that you could make me feel like this." After a few moments, I struggled to make my way to the bathroom sink. Like a fish out of water, I was gasping for air. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror. "What a pitiful girl", I though, & suddenly, my vision was blurred by traitorous tears. That girl was me.
I brace my arms on the edges of the sink as my stomach tries to purge itself once more. Nothing comes out because there`s nothing left. This scene already happened 30 minutes ago. Once more, I gagged &, once more, I cried. How could this be happening to me?
I let myself go. If you entered my bathroom at that very second, you would have seen a small girl, miserably slumped on the floor.
The tiles were cold against my heated face & the shower was on -- but all I felt was the fiery trail of my tears. Even the fabric of my clothes felt ridiculously strange, wet on skin. With the last bit of strength I had left in my tired limbs, I managed to pull myself into a sitting position, burying my head in my knees & crying it all out. Too many tears were shed on such a small thing, but I couldn`t stop myself anymore.
So here I sit now, in fresh clothes, sitting in front of the computer with dark circles under my eyes. Not a wink of sleep has been granted to me & I feel strangely like a zombie. My movements are slow & sluggish, as if I were dancing underwater & I am not the only one who has noticed. A constant throb is in my head now...& I still feel that constant urge to cry.
Would someone come & make me feel better?
