I`ll be spending my last 30 minutes crying.

It`s my birthday & I`m trying to be happy, but I can`t. I still feel the same I feel everyday: despondent, meaningless and destitute. The only thing I want today is to be happy &, failing that, to simply not be sad. It`s much harder than you think.

I don`t want to go to school tomorrow because I will inevitably cry if I do. I just want to be alone. I don`t want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I`m not even going to protest against gifts because I know I won`t be getting any. I don`t want to have to answer a quiz I don`t give a fuck about, nor talk to people I`d rather be strangling to death. As it stands, I don`t think I even have the energy to smile tomorrow.

Hmm ... I am the first person I know to dread her very own birthday. Hilarious. Or, actually, it would be funny if it weren`t so pathetic.