I hoped I would never have to say this.

You would have to give up all else,
I alone would expect to be your sole & exclusive standard,
Your novitiate would even then be long & exhausting,
The whole past theory of your life & all conformity to
the lives around you would have to be abandon`d.
Therefore, release me now, before troubling yourself any further,
let go your hand from my shoulders.
Put me down & depart on your own way.

- Walt Whitman

It saddens me to say this, but when you leave, it will be the end. After you leave, I will go my own way too & we will be estranged for months. We will get used to being without each other, the same way you got used to not thinking of me all those months ago. This is goodbye & this might be the final word we say. This chapter has drawn to a close in my book & that brings real tears to my eyes. To say that I did not love you would be wrong, but to say that I do love you now, the same way I did before, would be an imposition & a lie. At this moment, I can only force myself to see you as a brother -- the one I never had & the one I always wanted.

In the end, this is all I can say.
Take care. I hope you have a good life.