Will you know my name if I saw you in heaven?

Good morning, Lola. It`s your apo here, Vida. It`s been so long since I last saw you & spoke to you & I`m sorry for disturbing you right now...but there`s something I have to tell you.

Remember the last time we talked, lola? I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the kitchen & I heard a noise coming from your room. When I went there, you were pointing at something on the ceiling. You look so scared, lola. I didn`t know what to do so I tried to comfort you by holding your hand. "It`s nothing. No one`s there.", I reassured you. But what did I know?

That was the last time I ever saw you alive. That was the last time I ever got to hold your hand. I didn`t even manage to hug you; I didn`t even try my best to make you feel better. In my mind, all I wanted to do was leave. I didn`t even tell you that I love you.

I`m so sorry, lola. Really. Everytime I saw you, I would tell you that I love you...but that last day, I didn`t. & it`s killing me that the last image I remember of you was a frightened old lady, lying in bed alone. You should`ve been happy & I should`ve done more, lola. I should`ve visited you more & told you more. We should`ve had more happy times together. There was so much we haven`t done yet... I didn`t want you to leave.

& since you left, I`ve been plagued with guilt. You`re one of the best people I know & you did not deserve to be put aside, forgotten. Since I was born, you`ve supported me in every way possible. I have no bad memory of you, lola. Even when I was at my loneliest & most depressed, you were there for me. Remember when I cried `cause no one wanted to sit with me at the plane & you gave up your comfy First Class seat to be with me in Business? That made my whole vacation. I swear, I don`t deserve the level of kindness & love that I recieved from you, my own grandmother. I wasn`t able to repay you at all...and I am so, so, so sorry.

But it`s done & you`re gone... No amount of tears & prayers will turn back time or bring you back, no matter how much I want them to... I just hope that from heaven (`cause I`m sure that you`re there), you can see this hastily written letter & you`ll forgive me. I love you always & forever, & I promise that I`ll never forget you.

Love,
Vida