This is a call for help .

& it`s not the help that you think it is .
I`m not lying to you anymore .
Because lately , I`ve been sick.
I`ve been tired . I`ve been half-dead with sadness .
Of course you wouldn`t notice .
Did you care enough to glance ?
But , yes , even if you did , I guess I`ve
become practiced in putting up a facade .

I`ve been wanting to tell you the truth ,
but having no one worrying over me was far too tempting .
I`ve let this confession stay at the bowels of my heart too long .

I want to die .
This isn`t the silly dramatic proclamation of an insane person .
I want to die . Plain & simple .
God knows , I`ve tried so many times to end it .
Pills , but all they did was give me pain .
Cutting , but it would hurt the people who saw me .
Not breathing , but you don`t know how hard it is .
I`d take a gun & shoot myself , if it were possible .

Why ? Because I`m so tired .
I`m so weak ; I want to give up .
I want something real . Something to live for .
But there is none . I cannot see it .

Sometimes , a ray of light would peek through
& I would be happy . But ... it`s becoming rare lately .
It`ll disappear soon .